Do you wake up each morning and take in the beauty around you? Do you take time to sit in stillness? Are you so busy that when you get home all you want to do is go straight to bed? Take a moment right now and enjoy the photo above. Take in the wondrous beauty of the clouds and mountains and anything else you notice.
Now, let’s get some balance in your life by using the Connected Purpose Priority Circle. It is a vital road map to a balanced life. Utilizing this tool will give you immeasurable peace, understanding, happiness and wellness. The trick for it to work, as with most things in life; you must show up for yourself and follow it!
Much suffering comes from a lack of balance and prioritization. When we do not prioritize our lives properly all our choices are haphazardly made and lead to suffering. Prioritizing your life, at first will be difficult and will require focused discipline on your part. Remember, you are working to break some deep seeded habits! But you can do it one day at a time one step at a time. The Priority circle will help you become aware, conscientious and mindful of your choices.
Now…. I’m not saying that challenges will not arise that will affect how you feel in the present moment. What I am saying, is that you will know where they fall within your priorities and how much attention is required to address the challenges and curve balls we all experience in life. We can’t avoid these events. We should welcome all our challenges and embrace them as avenues to help us grow. Most importantly, do not use the Priority Circle to punish yourself. If you forget the priority order and you catch yourself, remember this concept from Miguel Ruiz. He states in his book The Four Agreements, as the 4th Agreement, “Always do your best”. “Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstances do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.” Keep this in mind as you use the priority circle in your life.
Priority 1: You must acknowledge that outside of ourselves there is an inner connection to a Higher Being or to the Universe itself. I have generalized this priority title to allow this concept to have flexibility. Plug in the concept that sits within you as true. Through meditation and stillness, you become deeply aware of who you are in relation to all things and your place. You must take time out of each day to acknowledge this force and the immovable connection that we all have to everything and everyone around us.
Priority 2: Take time for deep self-reflection and always make it a daily priority to take care of yourself first. You know the old saying, “if you don’t love yourself, you will not be able to love someone else”. Take time each morning to look at yourself in the mirror. Beyond just your exterior appearance. Stare into your own eyes and see into your soul and say, “I love you”. Look at every inch of your physical body and appreciate it and say, “I love you”. This will feel a little weird or odd at first but keep at it! Take care of your physical and emotional wellbeing. Make it a priority to get time alone for daily reflection and mediation, work out, go to the movies or read. Whatever the things are that you enjoy doing solely. Make time for it!
Priority 3: Outside of spending time with yourself, spending time with your other half is critical to the vitality and shared joy you both will experience. Your spouse, partner, boyfriend is on the journey with you, they matter. Listen without distraction about their day or whatever it is they want to discuss that is important. Look in their eyes deeply and give them your full attention. Sit quietly with your partner and touch them in some way, their hand, their face, their hair. As humans, the act of physical touch has profound healing and connecting effects. No matter the busyness of life ensure you make time for close intimacy with your partner or spouse. Intimacy is more than just sex. Make touching one another a must action daily! When they are hurting or you are in a disagreement be vulnerable with them and share your truest intentions within the disagreement. Honesty, pureness of heart and trust are the foundation of any sustainable relationship. Be thoughtful about what you say and try your best to “do no harm” with the words you use.
Priority 4: There is much to be said about the deep love parents share for their children. The greatest gift that you can give your children cannot be bought; it’s your time. Read to them, play games with them, listen to their stories (even when they make absolutely no sense). The time you spend with your children one-on-one is invaluable and will never be forgotten.
Priority 5: Call, visit, and write friends. Now, when I say write friends I’m not talking about emailing or texting. I am talking about getting a pen and writing on paper! The fact that we all rarely take time to write like this will not be lost on your friends. Remind them that they are in your thoughts. Give them your full attention when you are listening to them and acknowledge your gratitude to them for their friendship.
Priority 6: I know what you’re wondering, how can Career be #5! Isn’t earning a living most important?! My answer is, “yes, it is”. But without tending to the first priorities, your career and everything you build will falter under the imbalance of your life, even if for a time, you feel successful. To be successful within your purpose, passion and career you must give to yourself first and then to your career with unwavering concentration.
Priority 7, 8, & 9: Your co-workers, friendly acquaintances and volunteer activities make up a secondary community that is important to cultivate. Having well rounded friendships within your office and work place provide an additional feel of extended family. People that you meet through your additional life hobbies or religious practices will provide you with an added depth and knowledge that you just don’t gain from your same inner circle. Be open to new people and friendships, they have tons to share! Finally, volunteering will build your inner muscles of empathy and sympathy when you apply yourself to a cause that matters to you.
Bottom line, your focused attention and time are required for each priority. Understanding their order is extremely important. When you do not show focused attention in this order you will be overwhelmed, depressed and suffer from a lack of focused giving. If you put your children and spouse first you will have depleted anything for yourself and thus will suffer inwardly. If you volunteer and work unceasingly your family, friends, spouse and children will be affected. When you look at this model you might think, some of these topics are not a part of my life right now. This model is created to encompass the most consistent priorities that you must address within your life. The items that don’t apply, disregard for now and address when they become a part of your life. What matters most is that you stick to tending to each priority in the order presented.
A balanced life is required for success. Apply this guide in your life and see how your life becomes lighter, laser focused and overflowing with purpose, love and peace.
Action Steps:
- Review the Priority circle again. Write down your current circle of priorities.
- Where can you make changes in your own personal priority circle to find balance?
- Reward yourself on your successes when you bring the right priorities in line.
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